I had the world's biggest panic attack today, one so bad I had to call off work, and I'm expecting to have another.

ComicCon starts on Wednesday, but Cory and I are leaving tonight to go home to my parent's house, cuz the drive to San Diego is shorter and easier from there.

But back to the panic attacks. My sleep schedule is totally and completely effed up, which is causing so much stress you have no idea. Right now, I'm only basically awake from roughly 5pm to 6 or 7am. This puts me in serious problem, because I'm heading home to a 9-year-old brother and a family who's going to want me conscious. I just spent the past two days in physical agony putting myself through voluntary jetlag trying to fix my schedule, but it backfired and failed completely when I couldn't fall asleep at all last night, despite the fact I'd only gotten four hours of sleep that day. In fact, I didn't even fully fall asleep until noon today. 6am was when the full blown of the panic attack hit. I was just curled up in my shower with cold water hitting me just sobbing my eyes out.

I feel like a total failure, really. I have done nothing -- NOTHING -- since Monday. I haven't even touched my tote since posting that Joker picture (so the Joker isn't even done, let alone the other sides of the bags), I'm leaving tonight, within four hours, and I've only just begun to pack. Basically, I just feel like I'm losing my mind, and it totally sucks.... if it weren't for the fact that my family is expecting me and comiccon is next week, I'd probably have jumped off a roof by now...

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