This picture was directly inspired, at TWO-O-FRICKEN-CLOCK IN THE MORNING, by the song "Let Go," by Frou Frou. Probably my favorite song at the moment.

Drink up, baby doll
Are you in or are you out
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me, too busy
You're writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble wrap
When you've no idea what you're like

So let go, jump in
Oh well, whatcha waiting for
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So let go, just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

It gains the more it gives
And then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow

Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later now
You can't await your own arrival
You've 20 seconds to comply

So let go, jump in
Oh well, whatcha waiting for
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So let go, just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

(If the lyrics are wrong, it's because I came across literally 6 different versions through a google search. I need to buy the CD and look at the liner notes...)

This song is really, really having a crazy impact on me. I'm kind of caught a a crossroads right now, one that I've actually backtracked to, and after going one way, I'm unsure if I should try the other way instead.

I'm an art major at a normal boring not-even-accredited-in-the-arts state university. And I feel like I can do so much more, you know? The first path I was going down intended to lead towards a career in art therapy... but thinking about it, I don't know if I could deal with depressed/psychotic/difficult kids day in and day out (that's also why I don't wanna be a teacher ). The other path, and the one I really really REALLY wanna go down, is towards a career in animation. However, if I were to try for that, I'd either have to switch majors or switch schools - preferrably the latter.

I'm angry at myself for not taking the plunge - I even had my portfolio accepted by California College of the Arts in Oakland/SanFran, when I went to National Portfolio Day, but in the end, I ended up not even applying, because 1) I had no idea how to do a portfolio, and 2) I was afraid I wouldn't get a scholarship, and thus wouldn't be able to go (actually, I know damn well my dad has the means to pay for it - he's just unwilling to).

But I'm unhappy going down the other road. I have been for nearly three years... maybe it's time to just let go, jump in. If I'm rejected, then perhaps I'll be able to see the beauty in the breakdown. *shrugs* At least then, I can say I actually tried....

NOW!

For my usual "Here's how I made this" schpiel:

It's all on one layer.

How fucking apeshit is that?! I'm out of my mind. All the stars and the swirly colors.... Yup, all on one layer. I know, it would've been easier on more layers, but truth be told, this was such a therapeutic drawing, I really had to keep going on that one layer. Also - I used no reference photos, just drew what felt right. A sublimation of my inner turmoil, if you will

CS3, tablet, 'sall good.

EDIT: I've actually cropped it, and I think it looks even cooler now!! I initially cropped it so it would fit the size of my desktop (1260x800), and I thought it looked SO MUCH AWESOMER! I dunno why. Just the composition felt much more dynamic and swirly!!